Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Hey! How's it going peeps? Hopefully so great. Seriously, can I just say how freaking AWESOME it is to NOT be in school right now? Ahhhhhhhhh it's so nice. I am really glad I decided to take a break. More and more every day. Summer in the winter should be a new trend I say! Umm who's excited for false lash February? I AM!! I'M STOKED! If you are confused/want in go to natthefatrat.blogspot.com I really love her blog and just her as a person, no we are not actually friends, but in my world we definitely are. Definitely! Another thing I am STOKED about is this!
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 9:08 PM
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Hello There Darlings, I feel it is the right time to talk about some fairly big changes happening in our life at this point. FIRST, and foremost, Dutch Button is full grown we are fairly certain. They said he shouldn't get bigger than 15 pounds and currently he is a heavy 21. Since I carry him around like a baby often he is starting to hurt my back so it is more walks for that guy. No back hurting aloud around these parts. No. Thank. You. In other, more serious news, D and I have decided that he will start doing the Air Force full time. Meaning he will continue doing multiple trips and when he is not gone to another country/state he will be working in SLC every day. Meaning our new everyday schedule is an early wake up at 3:00am and an early bedtime around 9:00-10:00. For real. Because it is something he loves to do and is so naturally good at, it is hard to turn down an opportunity like this. We also found out that his scholarship will cover online classes and so he will just take online classes for now as well. Although this is quite new for us and a big change, we are also pretty excited about it. We will definitely have to learn how to adjust to waking up early and going to bed early, and D taking online classes may prove to be a bit challenging with his travels, but we feel like it will all work out. One lesson I can say I have learned is that I have to be brave. Seriously. If you would have told me when I was 17 that I would be marrying Drew Bongiovi and that I would be an Air Force wife and that I would marry at 19, I'm really not sure if I would have laughed or cried more. Seriously. The same goes for my Mr. If somebody would have told him that he would marry Megan Keller, become a Mormon, live in Utah and be married at 19, I know for a fact he would have started running then in hopes of getting away. It is with much irony our life has delivered these happenings to us. There were so many things both of us both said we would "never do," one we agreed on passionately was of living in Utah, and here we are and we adore Logan and the friends we have made here. We are at a turning point in our lives of sorts, we are passing the "newly-wed" stage and are also passing the "we're really young and married" stage. (We are still younger than MOST people who are married but not as young, you feel?) It has been a time for much decision making around these parts and at times it has been a little taxing, a lot stressful and a lot of prayer honestly to know what to do. A lot of times it is hard for me to be supportive of Drew in his job when there are so many unexpected things, like where, when, how long and is it dangerous? But I have also learned that worrying about those things doesn't change the where, the when, or the how long. And with time it has become much easier to support Mr. in something he loves so much and excels at every single day which I am thankful for on several accounts. So here is to early mornings and exciting pictures of fun places, as well as lots of return homes with presents. Another change that is a pretty big one, is that I am now on an official "leave of absence" from USU. Yep it's happened. I have been in school consistently for the past 3 years and have lost a lot of hair, gained too many pounds and have been stressed to my limit. For real. One thing that I adore about Drew is that he enjoys life. And although we think so differently he is always there with his straight logic of "if you hate this so bad why are you doing it?" and "are you happy? if this is not making you happy fix it, change it, or stop it." I often get caught up in life and just go go go go go go go until I am completely drained, depressed and basically lifeless which is not good for me, him, or really anyone. I have gotten to a point where I have realized I need to stop competing with my idea of how I should be and what I should be doing because most of the time it isn't realistic and it isn't the best plan for me. Instead of always trying to prove myself to myself and to others I have found that I need to take a step back from all of the noise and listen to my soul. My soul. It said "slow the hell down you freak." And I cried for days and didn't sleep, or eat, then ate too much, then made a decision then changed my mind over and over and over. Because it is sooo hard for me to not compete. So hard. It is hard for me to not care about what others might think of me and what I might think of myself. But really now that I actually did what I needed to do for me. I don't care. You heard me, I don't. Not in a spiteful or anything, just that really who cares? "The ones that mind don't matter and the ones who matter don't mind" Thank you Dr. Seuss I couldn't have said it any better myself and if I were to get some ink I would get that right on my arm to remind me because I keep learning that over and over and over again. I am just at peace with my decision and I am learning to trust myself and to listen to what I need and feel is right for me, not what I think others expect of me. Although I am taking a break it won't affect my graduation date for next spring, since I had credits before college and then taking about a million credits in about 15 different majors I am still well on my way. So I really probably will be blogging a little more regularly and taking this time to focus on me and to do some things I have been wanting to do. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy but for the next few months I am planning on changing that as much as I can and to learn to love life, not just live life. So here is to change. I knew 2012 would bring a lot of them and they are already happening.
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 11:06 PM
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I am by no means a crafty girl. I really wish I was, and someday I plan to be. Seriously I have high hopes and dreams of it but for now I am not. On December 31st (yes New Year's Eve) I definitely started decorating for Love Day. Not only is February the month for Lover's, it is also the half anniversary of me and love bug and also for my half birthday. I really like that. Plus so many people have hated/dragged on Valentine's day but not me. I seriously love the holiday, and I always have. I once told a boy in 5th grade if he got me roses then I would be his girlfriend and he got me three in a vase with baby's breath but then I decided I really didn't want to be his girlfriend I just wanted the roses. Yep I was a charmer from the start. Anyway, Here are some of my meager attempts at decorating for love day.
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 9:12 PM
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Isn't interesting how easily it is to link an emotion to our senses? I do this often and am reminded of it on a regular basis. The sound of a can of soda being cracked open, poured into a glass, and then the delicious fizzing noise as the carbonation meets the ice. Without fail I have always linked that noise to my Grandpa Keller. When I was 2 years old I stayed with my Grandma and Grandpa Keller while my family went to Disneyland, there I learned of all of the joys of M&M's and Pepsi which I called "Ice." For my 3rd birthday they gave me a huge bag of M&M's and a 12 pack of Pepsi, since ever coming home from that trip I repeatedly asked my Mom for "Ice" which she wasn't producing. Since then I have shared many a glass of cold Pepsi or Coke with my Grandpa and know that, that sound will always remind me of him. The sound of a squeaking door reminds me of my Mom. Living in our last house in Boise we had a walk in Pantry that my Mom made good use of. Obviously she stored everything there, but she also had a little stool in there that she would sit on and whenever I came home from school or work or a date she would be waiting and she would sit there while I sat at the counter and we would talk. Every morning I would hear that noise and know my mom was up and wait for her to come and wake me up. I was definitely the youngest and continued to make my mom wake me up past the time I was a senior in high school because I liked getting a hug in the mornings and knew she would always do that. Even the times I would pretend to be asleep. The sound of nothing but pen writing on paper reminds me of my sister Cassie. She is a writer. Not like me, a rambler, crazy, out there one. But a real one. She has been published multiple times and with good reason, she has pure talent. She has more journals and notebooks than I can count. Whenever we would travel she would write for hours and although I would tease her I always envied her and wanted to know what she wrote. I am always curious of that. I once had a professor tell me that my handwriting was almost identical to my sister's and for some reason that has been one of my most favorite compliments that I have ever received The sound of high pitched laughter will always remind me of my best Tip. When she gets really crazy and while I am encouraging her to get that way she often pees her pants and can't help but laugh/shriek at the same time, and though it is a bit of a nervous making sound, it is also a good one meaning I am doing my job as a best friend The sound of keys in the door is one of my very favorites and probably always will be. The sound that He is home safe and will soon be with me. Whether He has been gone 10 minutes or 10 days the sound always makes my heart pound faster and without fail makes me wake up even when I am in bed. It is a comfort noise. Loves and Hugs and sound sleeping to you all, xoxo M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 11:15 PM
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
School is happening and I forgot how stressed and frazzled it makes me feel. I am going to enjoy most of my classes but I hope that I get over this weird brain freeze that has been happening. Starting Monday my mom, sister and maybe a few other family members are going to do the 8 week challenge from Six Sisters. It is time. I have been fighting my weight for the last few years and am ready to get back into shape and to just be healthy. I have created a lot of bad habits and have become unhappy with how inactive I am. So here is to starting to be healthier and happier right? Give me a "here! here!" or is that a "hear! hear!" i'm not sure. I received my box of delicious goodies from Sephora today, which also included what I hopefully will be giving away soon, (once I get 50 followers....so close and yet.....also so close to me just having two buxom box sets to myself) so you know get your mom to follow so we can do this thing or what alright? That's all I got today guys. My brain feels like fried Jello, which as you can obviously imagine is not a good thing. Loves M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 10:48 PM
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Well let's just say this week, it happened. You know what I'm saying? This week I had so many good/great/fab intentions of all these things to do etc, but instead this week just overtook me and spit me up like a baby. Drew is still waking up at 3:00 Monday through Friday driving to SLC and getting home normally around when I do at 6:00pm. Then we eat and try to get to sleep before 10:00. Yeah for real. So we have been seeing each other about 2.5 to 3 hours a day, when we are lucky. It sucks. But such is life occasionally, and over the past 30 days he has been to Hawaii for 5 days and Cali for 6. He can't complain there much. So we continued on with this schedule and then our car broke down. No not beauty the truck, old man car Taurus that I have driven for quite some time now. Crap. So D being the handy dandy man candy that he is called me and said "I'm driving straight to the shop and I'm going to fix this thing" Ugh ok. So I also drove there and low and behold there was D, my Dad and Dutch hanging out fixing the car. I went and visited my Momsy and came back a few hours later to follow D home and make sure everything was ok. Well with the car it was more than great! Fabulous even (thank you dear sweet crafty man hands that can fix anything from delicious cookies to our car. Win!) but with Mr. Dutch Button it was far from it. My poor thing ate/licked did something with oil from that garage. And a lot of it. He threw up all over, ALL OVER, and then was so sick. Did I mention this was the first week of school? It was and it was a little hectic to say the least. Then Wednesday when our car broke down poor D had seriously less than 3 hours of sleep and Dutch was so sick. But can I just say, to my awesome professor, (no, no she doesn't read this) but regardless, can I again continue to say to my awesome professor, "THANK YOU!" Here is what happened. I went to my first class of the day, but I just couldn't leave Dutch alone the whole day. It was making me sick just thinking about it. So I emailed my next professor and I said "I will be unable to make it to class, I am having my own environmental crisis and I cannot leave my Dog, as silly as that sounds my life would be so sad without him" and can I tell you that she responded promptly and told me to take care of him and then even emailed me yesterday and asked how he was doing? Is that not the most awesome thing ever? I say most likely it is! Also the class that I missed was "The Environment and Social Justice" so I felt my email was not only touching but also humorous as well if you follow. During that email it was also when I realized I have become "one of those people," you know, the kind, the kind that seriously thinks their dogs are their children, are better/cuter/smarter etc etc etc than anyone else's? Yeah. That's me now. I just can't help it though! Dutch is my lone companion when Mr. is gone and he keeps me non-lonesome and for that I am ever indebted. Plus he loves me and I really like being loved. He is ok now by the way and I am glad that I went home and took care of him. Then Drew's mom and sister and friend from Brazil came. Yep, although we live in a 3 bedroom apartment it is more of like, a kitchen, family room, two full bathrooms, master bedroom and then two containers from "Storage Wars" for real. You could find/couldn't find anything you were looking for in there! And unfortunately we could not get them under control enough to be able to put air mattresses or anything in them and so Drew's Mom's first visit consisted of sleeping on an air mattress in our front room along with Syd and Maria. I was horrified. As well as stressed to the max for them to visit. D's mom and step-dad have visited when he first moved here when we weren't dating and then on our wedding they came down and back in the day, so they haven't really visited, visited and I was nervous. I failed all of the daughter-in-law tests but everyone left alive so I count it as a win. It was nice for them to visit and for us to be able to show them our new home here in Ut and all of the things that we like here. Not to mention we went shopping in SLC and I do love me the semi-annual VS sale. If you haven't started following my blog please do! I am so close to 50 and then we can start the giveaway! YAY! And if not I will just keep the Buxom set along with the same set I also ordered for myself but oh well! I hope you are having a lovely day, XOXO M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 11:26 PM
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Today was a lovely day, Drew came home yesterday and because he has been gone a week he wasn't required to go to drill today and so was able to come to church with me. It was fast Sunday which D normally misses because Drill weekend and fast Sunday are always on the same weekends and both adjust to Holidays and are still on the same weekends. It was so nice having him there with me because Fast Sunday has always been my favorite. While during sacrament meeting I kept trying to get D to go up and bear his testimony, I even told him I would pay him $5. Yeah, I AM that kind of wife, but we never shook on it, I gave up and he went up anyway. Did he tell everyone in our ward that I tried to bribe him and pay him $5, why yes, yes he did. Awesome. I was so embarrassed which is a pretty hard thing to accomplish but it happened. He did a wonderful job and then I went up because I felt like I had to redeem myself, the poor ward got a lot of the Bongiovi's today. The thing is though, I had never heard Drew bear his testimony before. I know what he believes and how he feels about the gospel, but sometimes it is good to have some public reassurance as well. He hates speaking in public about things that are personal and so has avoided ever sharing his testimony except once and I was gone. What are the odds? I am so blessed to have him in my life, and I just adore him. Just! Adore! Then we came home and watched Legacy and I bawled the entire time. Man! It is good to be reminded of just how lucky and blessed we are and today I got a lot of reminders of which I am greatful. I hope your day was lucky as well, M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 7:50 PM
Oh Hello Gorgeous! Yes you! So have I told you about how I wanted to do a give away? Well I am going to! Obviously there are a few stipulations, but I am very excited about this! VERY! EXCITED!!! BUXOM is my favorite makeup brand. They are the "sexy sister" (seriously it says this on the packaging) to Bare Escentuals. I love their lip gloss. It is minty and so sparkly and it makes your lips tingle. Not only that but it also makes your lips smoother afterwards and is more than a little addicting. I recently purchased their eyeliner and mascara and am in love. Seriously I have been wearing it non-stop. I am all about long lashes and a little to a lot of drama when it comes to eyes and that is exactly what it delivers. Not only that but the eyeliner is smooth enough and doesn't irritate your eyes at all. The mascara goes on smooth but is build-able for more volume, but isn't clumpy or heavy. I feel like I really should work for them don't you think? Anyways, here is my giveaway~ **I will be giving away "Samantha's Smoky Eye" box set here is the definition from the lovely, sephora.com What it does: This set will have you feeling armed and gorgeous with Bare Escentuals' smoking hot combination of: a Buxom Smoky Eye Stick in Smokin' Pistol, a Buxom Smoky Eye Brush, a Lash Mascara in deep black, and a universally flattering nude Samantha Big & Healthy Lip Polish. You want it riiiiiiighhhhhttt???
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 7:10 PM
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! It's TRUTH TUESDAY EVERYBODY! OH YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I am a sucky blogger, i'm not the most sucky blogger but compared to good bloggers I suck, but when it comes to "TRUTH TUESDAY" (DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!!!!) I am normally pretty on top of it, so for the past few weeks of skipping it, I have felt pretty guilty. That is weird I know. Anyway let's get it going since we don't have much of a Tuesday left anymore, For some reason this whole new year resolution, goal setting, start of a new year, start of a new everything etc etc is really making me like it. I'm not sure why because I am not a fan of goals/resolutions, not because I don't stick to them, mostly because I think it is stupid that people think that there is only one time a year they should try to start the things they really want to do in life etc etc and plus people get annoying about things. Sigh, as I typed that I realize I literally just became that person. Dammmmmmmmnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaationss. (Sidenote that is NOT a swearword MOM!) anyway, I am excited. I feel like there are a lot of good things to look forward to this upcoming year and just the future in general and I am ready for it. Normally I don't like change but I am craving change in so many aspects that I just find the whole idea exhilarating. Kind of like eating an entire pie with my face. I still haven't done that, but soon I think it just might happen. Obviously I would have to take all of my makeup off first because that would be really uncomfortable otherwise, but that really is the only downside that I can see. Although I wouldn't really call these goals or resolutions there are some things that I decided I wanted to get better on, in no particular order, *be positive and look for the good *be forgiving and humble *read more scriptures *love myself, body/mind/spirit *do good things/make an impact on someone else *do things that I love *make things beautiful because I love beautiful things *love stronger and be more passionate, alive, happy and honest in my relationships with D, family and friends, I never want any of them to wonder if I love and care about them Those are just a few as well as trying not to swear as much but I don't think that really is necessary for the list. I feel that now is the time to reveal my big reveal!! DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!! No I'm NOT pregnant, not even close, not trying, not ready, not anything, so sorry. This reveal is almost more personal to me than that, (mostly because I've never been preggers but you know what i'm saying) anyway, i'm stalling,,,, So here is the thing. For some reason for the last like 2.7 years I have just stopped caring about a lot of stuff that I really care about but I was just shoving as hard as I could under the surface. Obviously I have a complex, obviously it's NOT healthy, and obviously you probably have something similar to this too so this is a no judge zone, only a "yeah I feel yah" zone. Anyway, for some reason I came to college and I got bitter crazy about it. Like some serious bitter crazy, which is really really stupid/dumb because I have a full ride scholarship. That's right folks, I have only had to pay for books I never open and sell back for much less money, my whole college experience. I am a lucky duck but I haven't felt that way. You see I have this problem. I have always super loved money, or thought I did anyway. I always thought if I had the right this. this. this. this. this. this. and this. that everything would be right and perfect in my life. And although I can say that I/We have been very blessed financially for two crazy-ass-kids-who-got-married-at-19-and-didn't-know-what-financial-anything-meant.... well it has worked out so far. So you see I always felt like I HAD to go to college so that I could make money. I always wanted to be a lawyer, but honestly that was more because I wanted to feel like I could help somebody, and I really just wanted to be a prosecutor which doesn't really make much in lawyersville. But I also had a complex because I also want to be a really really really good mom. I am in no way saying that mom's who are lawyers or are in any other career are in anyway less mothers, but I know that for me personally, I would focus more on one or the other. I am just that way, about everything and I really want it to be my children not my career. Like I want to be that mom that just pulls their kid out of school on a Tuesday at 11:23 when they are done with recess to be like "hey (blank awesome name) we are going to Disneyworld, so no more school for you this week!!" Do you people see what i'm saying? Anyway let's try to ring this in because I'm sure half of you are like say waht? Lawyer and disneyworld and you aren't preg but you're talking about kiddens?? Right? Here is what i'm saying, I have very sincerely resented the fact that I went to college because I have NEVER wanted to be here. I hate school. I always have. Ask D how many times our senior year I missed school and he could easier tell you how many times I actually went to school. Sad but true. I have always wanted to go to beauty school. Always like since I was probably 11 so an equal portion of my life. I didn't however want to be a stereotypical young girl who goes to beauty school because she is too lazy/doesn't have a plan and will just get married and have some dude who isn't lazy/has a plan to take care of her. (not saying that all girls who go to beauty school are this way, but is there a sterotype? Um YEAH!) Anyway it was also a pride issue because I just kept telling myself I wanted to make more money blah blah blah. Well here is what I know. I know that I have always wanted to do something that makes other people feel good about themselves. I have always wanted to do something that I am in control and that I can schedule and that I enjoy doing. I have always wanted to be in a situation where I meet people and build relationships with them through what I do, and I love things that are beautiful. I just do. Although I have fought that because I haven't wanted to be shallow, I have come to the terms with the fact that loving things that are beautiful are not shallow in anyway. Instead I have found how un-true that statement is. There is beauty all around us that was created by Heavenly Father, and it is obvious that he loves beauty and wants us to be able to enjoy it. There is no reason not to make things beautiful and to enjoy beauty. So here I am saying I have decided to go to beauty school. Yep I said it. I have been waiting along time to actually say it because I was scared of it but there it is. I am going to graduate still and won't start for over a year but I am very much looking forward to it and know I am going to enjoy school these last few semesters so much more knowing what it is that I want to do. So there you have it. If you have made it this far in this post I am impressed and also apologetic that it took me that long to get it out but that's just the way it is with me. Have a lovely Wednesday since it is almost here. XOXO M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 11:52 PM
T-swift has really kicked it up a notch in my book, I have been listening to both of these songs non-stop for the past few days, "Ours" wasn't my favorite song but then I watched the music video and I loved it. It is like my life every time D leaves. It is so cute. So watch and listen friends, watch. and listen. and of course this lovely song, I CANNOT wait for this movie to come out, siiiiiiiiiiiiigh, hurry up already! Let me know what you think? Like, Love, Hate? oxox M
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 7:27 PM
Monday, January 2, 2012
This year was literally one of the hardest years of my life. Having Drew leave for longer than we were married was difficult for both of us, the first two months we talked a total of 7 times all less than 15 minutes was really suckish. I can honestly say that we probably dealt with some of the hardest trials that we will ever have to face that I am so thankful is getting better. I learned a lot about myself. I always said I would never be married to somebody in the military and here I am a military wife. Since D has been home he has gone on 5 trips and now i'm a pro! I have learned who the people are that are my true friends and who genuinely care about me, and us, and who I want to have in my life. It has been hard learning who my real friends are and who aren't but for that I am grateful also, I feel i've had enough fake friends/people in my life that for now i'm finally to a point where I don't have to care or put any effort into them anymore and I feel very relieved. I am looking forward to a new year and for new things. I am excited for a full year of being with my husband for all 12 months in a row! YES!!!!! This year I went to Texas, twice, got a dog, twice, got a new job, at the same place, and learned a lot. I turned 21, celebrated our year anniversary and my very best friend got married. There were a lot of times this year that I felt all alone and learned to depend on Heavenly Father and I am thankful for the love and support that I have felt from Him when I felt absolutely alone with no one to talk to. I have learned I am a lot stronger than I thought, that I know the things that are important to me and I am willing to fight for them, and that I don't have to prove anything to anyone and I can choose my own happiness. I am so looking forward to this new year and I hope you all a lovely evening with lots of love,
Posted by Megan Keller Barker at 7:58 PM