Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Memoirs of my Memories

Oh Hello. It's been a while, it has. And all I have for you is gibberish, but at this point what else would you expect really? Do you ever have those moments when you find yourself reminiscing about days passed. Like years and years passed? I keep doing this, but they are so vivid that it is like they just barely happened. It is the strangest thing and it is making me homesick for my dear love Boise in an unbelievable, heart-wrenching way. For example, I have relived driving to Ontario Oregon for my soccer tournament when I was in 4th grade with so much detail that I am excited for the treats at the end of the game and my silly medal for winning, I have gone on my first date about 15 times and can remember my hair, outfit, the stench of the drunk woman in line in front of us for the Ferris Wheel and her pole dancing the entire ride (always classy), I have been at Boise Towne Square (the mall, my haven, my safe-place, you get the point) so many times over my lifespan I have been yearning for plaid shirts from third grade, converse shoes from fifth, sparkly pants from Limited Too from 6th etc, I have been hiding in our raspberry patch, climbing our big tree before we cut it down, cleaning my neighbors house, riding my bikes to see the owls, hiding from my scary neighbors who owned said property with the owls, I have been in the car dancing with my best friends being 17 and feeling so full of life, I have been 19 and leaving my house for the last time before moving to Utah, I have been 18 and breaking up with D for the first time when he showed up with flowers at my front door, I have been learning how to drive stick-shift for the 5th time from the 5th country boy who did a "day on the farm" date, I have been 6 and going to kindergarten for the second time, the list goes on and on. It is strange to feel 6 years old and then suddenly be taking a test, or feeling 16 and nervous for a date and driving to work, or thinking i'm going to the mall when I am on my way to the gym. In some ways these things have made me lonely for my friends, for my life in Boise, for the past, but also it has been such a good reminder of so many good memories I have involving so many amazing people. It is ok that life just keeps on going, if it didn't I would still be 8 at a soccer tournament and not know some of the very sweetest memories I have had up to date. The hard times and sad times are still so worth it in comparison to all of the beautiful, fulfilling, joyful moments I have experienced, and my soul keeps reminding me that I have many more of those to come. Xoxo M