On Being Married, and Staying Married......

So let's talk about the last 132 days.
whoa
right? So 25 days sounds like nothing right? Wrong. 25 days seems so much longer than all of the days past because they haven't happened yet. There have been a lot of people saying things like, "Oh this is just like having a missionary!" (ummm, yeah, except we are married so yeah, nothing really like that at all.....) or "having a missionary is so much harder than this!" (ummm nope, not even close don't you worry i know all about that.) Being apart this long has been really hard on us. Individually and our marriage. It is hard to be apart. I am so grateful that we decided to get married and especially in the temple. It was one of the hardest choices that we had to make knowing that no one in Drew's family would be able to be there with us and that broke both of our hearts. Especially his and especially mine knowing that. Everyone says that the day you get married is the happiest day of your life. We would both disagree. There was a lot of sadness that day for us. There were a lot of things going against us but we were in love and decided to make our decision. It has been so hard sometimes, but guess what I have found out? That is marriage. So many people told us we were too young and didn't know what we were doing etc etc. Here is the truth that I have found, no matter what we would have always been "too young" we would have never known what we were "getting into." The other day at work I was talking to two people I work with who are both getting married this summer. We were discussing how long they had dated their soon to be's and how long they will be engaged etc and the guy I was making a smoothie for had a bit of a freak out and said very rudely and very loudly "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AND ALL OF YOUR MONEY AND GIVE ME HALF OF IT SINCE THAT IS ALL YOU'RE DOING AND WASTING EVERYTHING! MARRIAGE IS SO STUPID...." etc etc add a few expletives and you have yourself a very sad man. The other two were a little shocked and didn't know what to say and neither did I. I just smiled and gave him his smoothie. It is sad though that so many people feel that way. Every day I have middle aged men telling me about their divorces and everything bad in their life. Here is the thing though, even though marriage is hard. Life is hard. And life without marriage after being married is harder. I feel like I can say that only because I have been alone for these past hundred plus days and even though there were times I wanted to pull my hair out, and Drew wanted to go kill things, our lives together are so much better than any other life there is for us. It is so worth it making it work. I can't wait until 25 days!!! CAN'T WAIT!! Honestly we are both more excited than when we were married because we know exactly what we are missing, each other. Although it has been very challenging, it has also been a blessing for us to truly appreciate each other. I see so many people who aren't happy in their marriage or who treat their spouses awful, and it makes me so sad because I would give anything just to have one day with Drew that was just a normal day. I feel like I have learned so much from the distance. I have learned about myself. I have learned about Drew. I have learned about my Savior and the comfort that he brings. I have learned that money, things, and power are nothing. I could be homeless with Drew and we would make it work and would probably laugh about it. I am thankful to be in love like this, and also to have been able to learn to be in love like this. It is all so worth it. I hope your Sunday has been wonderful, here are some marriage/love quotes to make your day a little sweeter, xoxox

"In the enriching of marriage the big things are the little things. It is a constant appreciation for each other and a thoughtful demonstration of gratitude. It is the encouraging and the helping each other to grow. Marriage is a joint quest for the good, the beautiful, and the divine."
--James E. Faust

"Love is like a flower, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness." --Spencer W. Kimball

"How sweet is the assurance, how comforting is the peace that comes from the knowledge that if we marry right and live right, our relationship will continue, notwithstanding the certainty of death and the passage of time. Men may write love songs and sing them. They may yearn and hope and dream. But all of this will be only a romantic longing unless there is an exercise of authority that transcends the powers of time and death." --Gordon B. Hinkley

"I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion. That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes." --Gordon B. Hinkley

"If [young people] would resolve from the moment of their marriage, that from that time forth they would.. do everything in their power to please each other in things that are right, even to the sacrifice of their own pleasures, their own appetites, their own desires, the problem of adjustment in married life would take care of itself, and their home would indeed be a happy home. Great love is built on great sacrifice." --Harold B. Lee


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