Truth Tuesday

Today I am sad that Maurice Sendak died. The writer of "Where the Wild Things Are." on of my all time favorite books when I was younger and still to this day. I liked the idea that all things "wild" had a place to be. When I was little I always thought I would have fit in very nicely with the monsters. I loved them and their wildness. When the movie came out I was planning on going to it the opening day, for some reason or another I kept putting it off until it was finally at the dollar theater, and it was the day I knew that I would never marry who I had thought for sure I would marry since I was 15. Mr.Bongiovi came with me to the movie while I sobbed from the opening credits well past when we were done. That whole movie just made me think that there was a certain place that I would need to be in my life and a certain person who I needed to be with and it just so happened he learned all about my wild and craziness through our relationship, my relationship with someone else and then finally with him again. It is nice how things have a way of coming full circle. I hope Mr. Sendak is happily reuniting with past friends and family members as he travels along on his new journey. Let's talk about my weight! Ok! I hate that I have a "weight" issue, but I keep finding the more I am open about it, the less excuses I can find for myself. So far I have lost 9 pounds. Although to me it seems like a lot, I know that in reality I have a long way to go. I have been doing Insanity and have been going to the gym with my best friend in Logan Hailee. It is amazing how staying that the gym longer than an hour is so easy when we work out together. We talk non-stop and it is awesome. I keep trying to stay positive about everything and I am continuously amazed by what our bodies can do. The other day I was thinking if I was unable to use my legs what I would want most to do, and the first thought that came into my mind was to run. I don't really like to run, but I CAN run. I can do anything with my body and that is an every day blessing that I often don't realize. I can't believe how much exercising makes an impact on my mental state. I feel like I have accomplished something, I feel strong, and proud and happy, and as cheesy as it sounds, that I can do hard things. I like that feeling. There are a lot of times that I feel like I haven't made enough progress or that I can't do it or that it's not worth it, but I don't want to give up. So, if you know me, don't let me give up. I am trying to create a lifestyle, not just lose weight. Drew is home, home, home! He came home a half day early and we went to our favorite restaurant, got a babysitter for Dutch and went to the anniversary inn! I freaking love that place. I really, really do. It is so nice to have him home for a while before he leaves again. My life seems really empty without him in it. Being insecure bothers me. I realize that everyone has insecurities but I wish that we didn't. Sometimes I wish insecurity was a person so that that I could punch them in the face. I think it would just make me feel a lot better. Probably not though because then I would feel guilty, regardless, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself and can name a thousand things that I am bad at, or don't know or should do more or better of, and then it seems like I can't even name one thing that I am good at. I haven't always felt this way and I am trying to be better at not being so hard on myself. Have I mentioned my sister is pregnant? She is, with number 3, and she is my closest sibling. I hope it's a girl. I love all of our nephews, but man there are a lot of cute baby girl things that I would like to buy for someone. And no, I'm not baby hungry, pretty much as opposite as you can get, I just like to spend money I think. Here's to you having a good night/day depending on when you read this, and here's to hoping the weekend comes sooner rather than later! xoxo M