The Most Romantic Thing Mr. Bongiovi Has Ever Said to Me, I think....

There is this side to me that loves everything romantic. Even if it's not technically romantic, I like things that make me feel romance. Does that make sense? I love pretty words, notes from a piano, lipstick, fur, the sound of high heels on hard floor, big pillows, flowery perfume and the list goes on. Although I am a "tell it like it is" girl, there is this side to me that is so soft, I try to hide that side. When I was in high school I thought it made me weak and I don't like weak. The thing I keep finding out about myself however, is the more I try to hide and push things down to protect myself, the more I am only hurting myself. When I don't fight the different sides of myself my soul seems to be balanced instead of always trying to fight itself. I keep finding the softer I let myself be, the stronger I am realizing that I am. It is nice. It's nice to not fight with myself so much. Drew came home exactly a week ago from California. He was gone for six days. Today he left for Florida, California, Hawaii, Japan and a few other places I can't remember off the top of my head for 14 days. That's a long time. Poor Drew. When he is gone longer than three days I seem to have a huge meltdown every single time. A lot of the time I just miss him and I hate to be lonesome so I cry and get dramatic, other times he is gone and I have a lot more time to focus on all of the things I am not happy about myself with. Now don't get me wrong and consider this a pity post because it isn't. It is what it is, and I think it's important for me to be honest with myself and with the lovelies that read this rubbish because I KNOW i'm not the only person who gets down on themselves. It happens, I wish it didn't but it does. Last week I had a huge meltdown, for a few hours and instead of going away it just kept getting worse and worse and I knew I needed to just call Drew, even though it was 2:30 in the morning and I hadn't gone to sleep yet and he had to wake up early in California. Bless him for being the best thing in my whole life and making me breath so I didn't hyperventilate and to calm me down enough to talk. Often I get so worked up that by the time I need to explain what's wrong, I don't even know but Drew is good about grounding me and making me realize what is really going on in my head, so that I can meet it head on, instead of fighting it over and over again and having multiple break downs without fixing it. After a while I finally got onto the root of the problem, my weight. As proud as I am to say it, that is the root of a lot of my emotional stress and mean thoughts towards myself. As I started crying harder when I tried to explain to D what was going on in my mind I just blurted out "I'm a whale!! NO! NO! I'm a narwhal!" (We have been watching some Frozen Planet) Instead of laughing at my craziness, or getting angry that I had been crying and trying to speak without success for the last hour and a half, without missing a beat he responded, "Yeah and do you know how many people love Narwhals? They are mythical because so many people don't even know they exist and they are so special because they do. Being Narwhal isn't bad at all" I am pretty sure that at the moment was one of the sweetest things D has ever said to me, and i'll be honest when it comes down to surgery sweet, romantic, mushy, and thoughtful Mr. Bongiovi is a champ. I cried a little more then because I just love that kid and I'm so lucky he is mine. Then two days later I got a box at my door with INSANITY (the workout program) D is all about working on what needs improvement and we have been doing the program for the last week. And now I will by myself for the next 14 days. Wish me luck, it's freaking hard but it's what I need. I feel like there are so many things going on in our life, but at the same time nothing concrete that I can really talk about either. I will blog more often I'm sure though considering the absence of my life. Hope you darlings are doing well wherever you are, for your viewing pleasure I will include a few pictures of some Narwhals. You're welcome. xoxo M