Moments Of Clarity

This week I have been contemplating a lot. A year ago on my half-birthday, I was alone, angry, bitter, discouraged, and finally hurt and humble enough to call my Mom and ask her to come to Utah. Because I needed her, I needed someone, and before then I wasn't strong enough to ask for it. Last year I remember thinking that there was no way I would be married on my 21 and a half birthday. I remember wondering where I would go in my life, what I would do, and how I would get there. I remember wondering if I would take the path that most of my friends have taken, living lives I know would not satisfy me, doing things that go against all of our beliefs, and that I don't understand. At that time I didn't know anything anymore. I was severally depressed and all I wanted to do was move away, anywhere by the ocean and stop stressing, stop hurting and stop thinking. Life however is not like that. I needed to feel and hurt and learn what I have learned to get to where I am now. I feel as though I have been in a fog, and I am finally having some clarity. Obviously several things have changed since last year. For one, Drew is home now, I decided to take a break from school and things now, are better than they have ever been. I never thought that would happen, but I am so grateful it did. Things are becoming clearer and clearer all the time, I know who I am, and better yet, I know who I want to become. That is all, xox M